Dillan DiGiovanni

coach | writer | speaker

Absolutes are much easier.

InspirationDillan DiGiovanniComment

Keeping an open mind and allowing anything and everything to be possible at any time is tricky. It really stretches us. 

That's why absolutes are so much easier. And absolutes are what we humans cling to, it's how we're hardwired, so to speak. Absolutes are right/wrong thinking--when we think we are "right" and someone else (or a group) is "wrong". We know best. They are confused. Things should be done "this" way, not that way. 

We surround ourselves with absolutes so we can feel a sense of ground beneath our feet. We invest in absolutes to feel control, to have certainty.

So why don't we ever feel content? Why are we so restless and unfulfilled? Why are we so quick to frustration with others? Why don't our absolutes make the world work better? Why do we still have so much anger, death, loss, violence, and aggression? 

Because without absolutes, what we have is surrender. And many people associate surrender with defeat. And if we're defeated, what will happen to us?!

Maybe we think if we surrender we've given up and we lose. We're failures. We didn't work or try hard enough for the thing we believe in.

Maybe we think if we surrender, something really bad will happen to us.

So we fix so firmly to our beliefs and we see them as right and real and the Truth. 

Have you ever read the story, "Old Turtle and the Broken Truth"? It really inspired my thinking about what we see as good and right and how that actually impacts the world. I sometimes consider reading it for an episode of my podcast. Would you tune in if I did that? Or other books or snippets that might be inspiring?

While absolutes are easier, the wisdom is that there is no real ground there. There is no refuge, no safe space to hide. The absolutes we cling to only seem to make things more challenging because they limit us. And they limit other people. 

They limit what we can be, do and have. They limit how others can speak, think and act. 

And if it's freedom and love that we're after, limiting people and ourselves moves us in the wrong direction. It's the opposite of freedom. It's the opposite of joy.

So, Dillan (you're probably wondering), are you suggesting we just let people do and say whatever the hell they feel like? 

Perhaps, Because if you've noticed, they are doing that anyway--despite your feelings about it. Despite your feeling or thinking and living within your particular absolutes, people just keep peopling.

And it creates a lot of frustration, anxiety, and war. 

What would be possible for you if you lived with fewer absolutes in your life? Would you feel less stress? Less reactivity? Less frustration? Less annoyance? Less limits--first and foremost for yourself--and then for others?

What would that feel like?

What would you be able to do, be or have?