The Costs of Change
Met with a beautiful friend this morning and she inspired this post. We spoke about change, and the costs of it.
It's not something we think about, maybe. We often focus a lot on the benefits and gains of change: the perks of a new job, the swing of a new haircut, choosing colors to paints the walls of a new apartment.
Rarely do we focus on the costs of change. The not-so-fun parts. We know with every change comes the death of something. We every gain, there is a loss.
And that's what can make change so scary or sometimes very difficult.
I've made many changes in my life and I've shared many of them in this blog. I seem to surround myself with people who take on change in various forms--from their jobs to their identities to simple things like taking a few inches off the length of one's hair.
Which is scarier or harder--the knowns or the unknowns of change? We can prepare for some, others we can't. One isn't easier than the other.
When I changed my address, I lost contact with countless friends. It was something I hadn't anticipated but schedules and distance proved to be great challenges.
When I changed my job, I lost a sense of identity. A sense of purpose. I know a friend who recently was given a large promotion--but it wasn't something she saw coming. She was rather blind-sided by it, in fact. She got the notice shortly before her sabbatical so instead of several weeks away to restore and rejuvenate, she ended up having to manage phone calls and meetings for this new exciting but unexpected transition. The change is a good one, right? But there is also an undeniable cost. Instead of weeks of much-needed rest, she got a few days.
We also spoke about our new shared nutrition changes. She follows a much stricter guidelines than I do, but we shared the double-edged sword of eating with such intention. Going out to eat proves trickier. Indulging in foods we usually avoid yields uncomfortable symptoms and side-effects later. Eating cleaner feels SO much better and sometimes, I miss the bliss of ignorance when it comes to nutrition. Neither of us misses it enough to return to the gas, bloating, chronic illness and countless other symptoms, however.
When I came out as transgender last year, so many people came forward pledging their support. Over time, I saw that not everyone was built for the long-haul of supporting someone through such a life-changing process. Grief, which is a big part of transition, isn't something everyone can hold. It isn't something everyone can endure. Friends grew tired and fell away. Some didn't understand it and got angry. Others