I've experienced many people who live their lives sort of half-assed. They spend alot of time walking around making life really comfortable for other people and neglecting some basic needs (or some amazing extras like unexpected days off, free products, extra hugs, etc.) Want to know one of those people? You're reading about one.
Yep! I am continously seeing the ways I sell my own self short. In the past few weeks, I have done something to change it.
What prompted the change?
Here's what I noticed was happening:
I was tired a lot
I felt frustrated and resentful that other people seemed to live so care-free, how do they DARE ask for what they want and need? "Harumph! Check out so-and-so asking for ________. Where does he/she/ze get the nerve?"
My skin wasn't clearing up
I felt like my eyes were going to bug out of my head at all times (this is most likely an adrenal issue)
I was Dillan the Grouch way too often.
How can I expect my clients to Savor Their Existence(s) when I'm not walking my own darn talk?
The truth is, when you're out on the edge of doing something really scary and awesome (like I've been doing these past few years) you will have moments of greatness and moments of not-such-greatness. Tapping into your own self-worth and actually doing things that magnify it to yourself and others takes a whole lot of courage and determination. Consistently challenging yourself to be the best version of You takes time, it takes introspection and it takes patience.
Asking For What I Need is one of my best lessons from the past few years. I realized I wasn't doing anyone, least of all me, any favors by making life more comfortable for other people. It was only short-changing my own needs and that is not what we were put on this planet to accomplish. If I want to live a charmed life full of joy, abundance and peace--I need to start with small steps on a daily basis. It begins with asking for what I need each moment of each day. Every relationship, every interaction, every moment when I'm sitting with myself---I need to be aware of and articulate what it is I need in that moment.
Sometimes, people won't be able to deliver. This is when I practice something called detachment (practice makes perfect, right?). I can ask for what I need, and release the expectation that someone or something will provide for that need. But the ASKING is the point. Anything that happens after that is easier to accept because I did my part.
It's the asking that is self-empowerment.
It's the asking that is self-love.
It's the asking that says, "hey, I deserve to have a life that feels comfortable and manageable so I can go out there and do incredible work."
That work can look very different but the basic need is the same: we need to feel like we can do it.
Work can be:
being a partner/lover/friend
What do you need right now to feel like you can do the work you are doing?
Now, go ask for it.