I probably shouldn't write this. I probably shouldn't say this.
I probably shouldn't wear this.
I probably shouldn't sing this.
I probably shouldn't think this.
I probably shouldn't feel this.
I probably shouldn't like this.
I probably shouldn't BE this.
I was thinking of something the other day and thought out loud to myself, "I probably shouldn't write this."
I have a lot of unconventional opinions about life and the more I walk through the world and learn new things and interact with people, the more I think these kinds of thoughts. And new ones form every minute. A lot of people don't think about things the way I do, and when I express myself they often react to me or what I'm saying based on their own perspectives. This happens in my family, my business and my relationships. It might be happening in those areas for you, too.
As someone who runs a business focused inspiring people to take better care of themselves and be authentic to build a life they really love, I found this rather ironic. How can I inspire other people to do something I'm still battling myself? Why? How? Because I think I've done an amazing job with my life so far. I may not be perfect but no one is perfect.
The people who appear to be perfect or have it all figured out? Watch out for those people. There is a whole lot brewing under the surface to keep that facade sparkly and dazzling to distract you (and that person) from confronting their imperfection. You've heard it before, so you're hearing it again. Don't be fooled by what you see.
I began to run through this list of ways people limit themselves for the sake of not rocking the boat or upsetting or bothering other people. These are also ways people avoid truly being themselves. They either get sick or are unhappy or it comes out in some other way. Sometimes they build resentment when other people try to do it. That doesn't end up working well for anyone.
I know this because I spent a significant portion of my life resenting what others had or did because I wasn't expressing myself and getting my own needs met. When we do this, we basically want it to be someone else's job to make life easier, safer, smoother and more fulfilling. It's not someone else's job to do that for us. If we wait for other people to step up to the plate and make it safe to speak or express ourselves or make our lives and our needs a priority, we will be waiting a long time. It's my job. And it's your job. And that person's job to make our lives what we want them to be.
And we do this as individuals in communion with each other. As we try to do and say and write and wear and think and act and sing and BE in ways that bring us comfort and joy, we come up against others doing the same things. Sometimes they are more graceful about making space for us and our ways and our needs, sometimes they are not. Sometimes our ways threaten their ways, so they make even less space and less room. Sometimes we need a little more space to swing our arms a certain way or they need us to be silent while they sing their hearts out. Sometimes, in their earnest attempts, they step on our toes and we ask them not to. We try to negotiate. And they don't want to negotiate. And we think we shouldn't ask. We shouldn't try. We shouldn't want. We shouldn't need. We shouldn't feel, think, say, do, sing or BE who we are.
But we should. We definitely SHOULD.